How is it now?

I am missing my seedlings - Big Time.

My kind neighbour, Stuart has been looking after them for the last week as I am away for holidays. Without fail, I keep asking my husband what he thinks how the seeds are growing. It is interesting as I feel I am the mother of my plants. This feeling is so "mum". With a son, I constantly wonder how he is growing, is he alright especially when he is in nursery. I have the urge to check, an urge to ensure he is well, an urge to want to protect him from all things that are bad. As a new gardener, I am constantly entangle with emotions of confusion - a mother or a gardener. I cannot help but to say both roles entwined together in a sort of complementary role.

Though I am still away, I cannot help but wonder how my seeds are. In some ways, I have the urge to return to care for them, feeling I am mean to leave them alone. Interestingly, it also make me realise these seedlings, they will grow. One day, they will have to handle the harsh reality of the weather. Perhaps I should let go of this protecting sentiments - trusting my plant will know how to grow with the right care. Again this thought pushes me to realise my son is growing day by day. He just turn two but he has already develops a mind of his own, pushing boundaries and wanting more independence. Many people has warned me about terrible two but I just do not believe there is such thing as terrible two! My mixed emotions about my seedlings - give me another insight into parenting - yet again. Personally I think if my son is able to communicate - he might just be telling me "mummy I am growing up. I need to learn things by myself, I push boundaries but I need help to know what my boundaries are. I do not need you telling me what is right or wrong. I need to find out myself and learn by myself! I have fail at times as a mother to put myself into the shoes of my son. Just because I am a mother, I want to protect him and yet this instinct of mine but not be entirely right.

So for now, I just have to let my seedlings have the freedom to "learn" by themselves while in my kind neighbour house!